Transformational Change Agent

Filtering by Tag: inspiration

Wild & Precious

"Allowing another to treat us by default is our own fault."
~ Truth
Blue Butterfly Transparent

"Your one wild and precious life”* is sacred. Protect it with everything you’ve got.

If one does not foster the circumstances that encourage honor and respect from others, then one is encouraging circumstances that will allow for diminishment, disparagement, disregard of oneself.

Old habits die hard. Allowing mistreatment to become a habit makes it more and more difficult to break that habitual behavior in another. It also becomes harder to break our own habit of expecting less.

Human beings are pliant. We can get used to anything. But that doesn’t mean we should.

Human beings are pliant. We can get used to anything. But that doesn’t mean we should. We must train others to treat us in the manner in which we wish to be treated. Otherwise they will become accustomed to treating us as they desire to do so. Which is usually by default: their set way of being, of doing, of acting in the world. It’s their unconscious manner. Their autonomic behavior toward others, which is a reflection of their attitude about themselves.

We can elevate our own status by establishing the type of treatment we deserve from others. The first way to do this is to treat ourselves well. We can’t honestly and fully honor another unless we know what it feels like to honor ourselves, to pamper ourselves, to cater to our own needs, to feel pampered, to feel taken care of, to feel dignified and respected.

In setting our own example, we are establishing the blueprint for how we wish to be treated. How we insist on being treated. For anything less than we deserve should be rejected. Anything that meets our standard should be accepted with gratitude, with grace.

Trading oneself for another — one’s standards for another’s — is a foolhardy endeavor. Suffering at the expense of others — letting them transgress your boundaries—is unhealthy. It should make you angry. Furious. And that ire is a sign your thresholds have been crossed.

If we don’t set our own standard, then the standard will be set by another. Usually the standard by which they treat themselves. And far too many treat themselves poorly. They don’t feel they deserve much so they don’t expect much and they don’t receive much.

So set your own standard. Raise the bar. Be the example for how others should be treating you AND for how others deserve to be treated themselves. No matter how high or low we set our expectations, they are usually met.

Your one life is “wild and precious.” Don’t allow yourself to be treated by another’s standards. When you do, it’s not their fault, it’s their default, which is just your own fault.


©TW Hawk 2017. All Rights Reserved.

*excerpt from "The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver

You Can't Go Wrong

Even when we feel we’ve gone wrong, made a mistake or taken a misstep, we haven’t. We’re living life the way it was intended. By being human. 
— Truth

You can't go wrong. What a nice thought. If only it were true...

But it is. You can't go wrong. No matter what. 

When options present themselves and you have the good fortune of something good or something better: You can't go wrong. 

It's like choosing the color for your new car: Hey, it's new car. You can't go wrong. 

It's like finding out if you're having a boy or girl: You can't go wrong. 

It's like picking between your favorite flavored of ice cream: You can't go wrong. 

Well, life is exactly like that. You can't go wrong. Or make a mistake. All you have are options.

"Mistakes" are to be learned from and create an opportunity to grow. To refine. To practice discernment.

Make No Mistake.jpg

"Good" choices are rewarded with good experiences. A reinforcement of what led you to make them. Of the practice of discernment. Of sound decision-making. Bravo. 

Even when we feel we've gone wrong, made a mistake or taken a misstep, we haven't. We're living life the way it was intended. By being human. 

The nature of human existence is a risk. That we ventured here as souls from Source energy was our willingness to take the trip. To buy the ticket for the earth-bound ride and ride the roller coaster. Even though it makes you gulp when you climb in and the safety harness swings down and secures you to the seat (you hope!). It gets the pulse going. It's a risk. Maybe you're gonna like it. Maybe not. Maybe you're gonna puke. Maybe not. Maybe you'll scream. And enjoy screaming. Maybe not. 

Whatever happens, happens. In any case, you can't go wrong. It's a no-lose proposition. Another new life experience. Now you know what riding this particular roller coaster is like. And you'll want to do it again. You'll want to try another one; faster, more loops, a bigger drop. Or maybe you'll find a completely different ride that's more your speed. Whatever the outcome, you learn, you grow, you had a brush with drama or fun or fright. And you made it. Moving on. 

You can't go wrong. 

There are no mistakes. Only decisions and outcomes and then better ones. Or worse ones. Doesn't matter. It all works out in the end. Nothing is forever. The nature of reality is impermanence. Just like the roller coaster ride is fleeting, so is life. If you don't like your current choice, pick something else. Change the ride. Buy a ticket for another thrill. Choose again. Choose a different amusement. Whatever you pick, you can't go wrong. 

What a relief. 


©TW Hawk 2017. All Right Reserved.


This isn't about "make it or break it," "use it or lose it," "love it or leave it." It's about improvising improvements.

WHEN SHIT GOES WRONG, like something falling through or going to pot or breaking or getting totaled, rolling with it often leads to an improvement of circumstances; the replacement of the old with something new and better (not just different), something that shows a greater refinement of choices in one's life. A new opportunity for growth and evolution, for transcendence and promotion. 

Its not just about going with the flow, it's not just about improvisation; it's improve-isation: the act of improving your life. Making the upgrade that often comes to us after a period of things falling away, breaking or in the wake of crushing disappointments: a better home, a newer car, a more loving partner, a more embracing community, a healthier body, a more rewarding job, a more purposeful life, a brighter future.

This isn't about "make it or break it," "use it or lose it," "love it or leave it." It's about improvising improvements.

It's the tap dance of IMPROVE-isation.

Tank House view
TW Hawk Signature


©TW Hawk 2017. All Rights Reserved.

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